I began a new Bible reading plan on January 1st, reading the New Testament in one year and so far what has stood out to me was the idea of FAITH! With FAITH, they were healed, believed, and lived. I thought about this, this morning and wondered about my own faith and my illness. In so many passages I have read, I see that with FAITH, they were healed of illness, demons removed and yet I live with this illness and curse it more times than not, why? Why am I different? Do I not have enough faith?
These were my thoughts this morning as I read and what came to mind was this..........I don't know! Pretty brilliant, huh? There is more though, there are things I do because of my illness that I may not be able to do otherwise, creativity being one of them. It has been proven that some of the most creative, talented people have either had some sort of Mental Illness, or oddly enough been alcoholics or drug addicts. I guess God has a sense of humor and knows what He is doing, because I just don't get it. I am told to have faith and believe, though and that is what I try to do.
I am aware that with my experiences, illness and gifts that I am able to do things I may not have been able to do otherwise. I am able to write, I am a published writer and amateur photographer. I have the ability to help others who may think that having a mental illness means they can not function in the world, I can show them differently. Of course there is the anger then at the media who makes all people with mental illness look like serial killers - that basically comes from being naive and uninformed. (Ok, so I am a little irritated with the media)
I guess what I had to come to understand was, my faith is enough, though must be continually fed, and maybe God has healed me but not the way I expected. He healed me to see the good that can be done with my illness and not just the downside that takes me “dark side” and makes me take medication and with faith I will continue to understand the plan.